I’m sure many of us have heard – perhaps from teachers or parents – that high school is the “best time of your life.” But are these four years really the best it gets? Or is this common belief a myth that pressures teens to reach their supposed “peak” in life too soon?
I, for one, would never want to believe that these past four years I’ve spent in high school have been the best I will ever experience. What does that mean for the next four, or even forty years of my life? By saying that high school is – or should be – the best time in your life, are they telling me that it only goes downhill from here?
High school is indeed a time of incredible growth, but it’s also filled with many uncomfortable and complex struggles. These struggles could be academic, social, or personal. For most people, there is so much more to experience, joy to feel, people to meet, and lives to live beyond these hallways.
The idea that high school is the “best years of your life” sets up an invisible standard for teens. The saying leads us to believe we should live a nonstop, perfect adventure alongside amazing friends, flawless relationships, and no stress. Usually, when reality doesn’t match this idea we have in our heads, it can cause us to feel like we aren’t doing the best we can, are failing at life, and are missing out on whatever high school is “supposed” to be.
This idea makes many high school students feel pressured to put on an act that their lives are going better than they are out of the fear that they are the only ones who don’t have it all together. This expectation can make it harder to open up, leading to a silent competition for who is having the most “ideal” high school experience.
As if the saying alone does not already pose as a stressor for teens, social media only amplifies this expectation. By feeling like we’re required to curate only the happiest and most exciting moments of our lives, apps like TikTok and Instagram make it seem like hundreds—or even millions—of other teens are having a better and more “perfect” high school experience than we are.
The photos and videos we spend countless hours scrolling through make it easy for teens to feel like they are falling behind – whether in friendships, relationships, or even social status. The pressure on teens to present the perfect photo or video on social media heightens the stresses that come along with the myth of high school as our “best years,” which makes it more challenging to acknowledge that there are many of us who feel stressed, lonely, and uncertain at times.
The hard truth is that the teenage years are difficult. Throughout high school, teens are learning how to navigate a newfound sense of freedom, academic pressures, and the process of finding out who they are.
Although the mindset is intended to encourage teens to make the most of every moment, it can make it hard for teens to feel that it is okay to feel a certain way and cause them to feel as though their real struggles—things like relationships, academics, and mental health—are invalid.
Teens are handling strong emotions, managing many friendships and relationships, and preparing for what is next. High school is not a carefree haven; it is a stage of life where teenagers are growing quickly, making it intense, confusing, and difficult. And the reality is that feeling that way is okay. It’s okay to struggle, and you’re not alone in how you feel.
Clinging to high school as our “best years” also limits teens’ expectations and hopes for the future. Adulthood and other future experiences can be just as fulfilling—so I’ve heard.
High school is only the beginning of the greatness ahead of us. It is the first chapter of a fantastic book we have yet to read. And choosing to see it that way instead can encourage us to look to the future with optimism and excitement, not fear.
